When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
