What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
