Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
