She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize