quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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