Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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