cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
