So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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