I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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