he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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