Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
