sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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