So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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