you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
