Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
