Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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