What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
