i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
