NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
