can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
