I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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