I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
