This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
