Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
