I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
