She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
