I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
