that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
