apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My ass is underappreciated
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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