you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
