He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
