she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
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She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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