ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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