how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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