Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
