Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
