i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
