I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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