So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh god it's open bar.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
