You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
