He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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