HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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