Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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