i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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