talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
