I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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