2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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