Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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