I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
