You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
