That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have fence marks all over my body
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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