grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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