My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
