Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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