I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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