I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
