FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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