I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
cat food counts as protein by the way
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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